Gardening, if nothing else, has reminded me that life, at its core, is a cycle. In fact, it thrives on the changing of the seasons, and requires it.
When seasons in our own lives change, it can suck. Transitions that make our heart ache, our memories reel, our body tighten with grief, or fear, or apprehension. They can wear us down. And sometimes these “seasons” last longer than spring or summer—longer than the few months a plant requires for growth. For me, I’ve had seasons fill years.
Not all of these transitions have made me cry though, many have filled my heart with great joy and marvel. Seasons of music, of sports, of hitting my stride wherever it is at that time. Usually, thankfully, most of daily experience occurs within this zone. You’ve been there. You know what I’m talking about.
But then there are those odd times when both the good and the bad happen at once.
When I was younger, I called something like this “Rainbow Weather.” I hated it. It wasn’t sunny, it wasn’t rainy, and worst of all, the sky was a deep blue-grey that annoyed me in a way only petty things can. The only condolence was the promise that the rainbow held (and which I felt guilty for shunning). I loved the promise, but its background color agitated me with uncertainty.
If you’ve ever experienced “rainbow weather” in your own life, maybe you can relate. There’s a distinct sense of unrest, of roller-coastering around in your own feelings. Carefree one minute, struck with grief the next. Nothing definite, not definitely “sun” nor definitely “rain;” a clash that you cannot see coming. However, it’s this transition, or rather, this combination of “good” and “bad” which colors our lives.
Like my tiny, beautiful, growing garden, I too need the sun and the rain, and I need a balance of both. I will do well to remember this.
Until this year, my rainbow-weather cycles were mild. I learned that after 2017’s clash. However, this year, I have also developed accordingly. Lots of water and lots of sun makes things grow. Too much of one and not the other kills. Recognizing the cycle and leaning into it will not break me, but ultimately, sustain me; I like to fool myself and think I know this in my heart as well as in my head.
Life: we require it, and it requires much of us.